There are two, newer communities in the Oklahoma City area that were built within the last ten years. These houses look really nice from the street. Going inside you see the new carpet, granite counter tops, tiled bathrooms and overall new “feel” make these houses really desirable. In fact, at first glance they look perfect.
The problem is, there are major issues with the house that you cannot see. The builder decided to cut corners and not cure the foundation in correctly. As a result, the houses slowly began to show signs of major issues. Cracks began to appear on the walls. In some houses the cracks appeared small. Other houses looked like an earthquake had threatened to rip the house into two pieces.
I find it very interesting how similar this situation is to our marriages. When we first get married, the marriage has a fresh and new feel. The honeymoon stage is full of passion, bliss and love tinted glasses. Over time, the marriage begins to settle and take shape. The real world sets in, in-laws rear their heads, and children begin to appear. This is the moment that foundation of your marriage begins to be revealed.
Not every marriage is created identically. What works for one couple will not work for every couple. What the common denominator is that each marriage must have stable footing. For us, that foundation is two-part. First and foremost, we have placed God as the foundation for our marriage. In fact, the times when we may have dipped in our walk with God, we can look back and see the negative effect that has had on our marriage.
We place God as the priority and head over our marriage and family. His word and His will are the guide that we use to chart the paths we take. In times if joy and frustration, we maintain Him as our center and it has worked well for us. We do our best to reflect His love, mercy, compassion and forgiveness in our marriage.
The second part of our foundation is our friendship. It may sound like a cliche, but we actually really, really like each other. When we say we are best friends, we mean it. We love to just sit and talk over a cup of coffee. We go to the grocery store together. I sit in the car patiently as she runs all her errands on my day off. When i am not working, I want to be at home with Heather. When she goes on trips away for a night or two, I genuinely miss her.
When I hear couples talk about their desire for the weekend to end so they can go to work and get away from their spouse, it saddens me. Marriage should never be something that we want to escape from. Just like a house may begin to show wear and tear over time, we have to make the commitment to continually repair and restore our marriage. Any house, no matter how magnificent, will need upkeep. We must have the same approach to our marriages.
I encourage you to ask the question, “What Is The Foundation Of Your Marriage?” Answer it honestly. If you are not satisfied with your answer, then take steps to correct the issue. The most important investment you will make in your lifetime is the commitment you made to your spouse. Honor that like you do the investment you made in purchasing a home. Guard it, keep it safe, work on it constantly and see it thrive over the years.