We are going to launch a series this week at The Joyful Family dealing with the subject of our legacies. This is a topic that we feel strongly about and we pray that it blesses you. For Marriage Monday we thought we would start with “What is the legacy of your marriage?”
It is very easy to live in the now and not give a lot of thought on the future. We all have real life, right now issues that take the majority of our attention. This is especially true in our marriages. Between work, homeschool and family time, we have to make the concerted effort to work on marriages right now, today.
What we often find ourselves forgetting is the domino effects of our actions. Everything we do now has ripple effects that directly impact our children. While we spend the focus in our marriages on each other, we need to realize that we are leaving a legacy for our children.
We have been blessed with four intelligent, curious and NOSY children. They see EVERYTHING and hear EVERYTHING. They know when we are upset with each other, they see us holding hands and kissing and how we treat each during all the times in between. My kids are the passengers along on the journey of our marriage.
Matt – My sons watch me be a husband to their mom. They see me when I am upset, and how I handle those situations. They see me be affectionate with their mom and go out of my way to take care of her. My sons learn how to respect women based on how I respect Heather. They will treat their future wife they way I treat Heather.
My daughter also sees how I treat Heather and it affects her just like my sons. How she watches me treat her mother will greatly impacts how she will accept or allow her future husband to treat her. Her standards and expectations will be greatly formed by how I am as the husband to her mom. It is my duty to her and to Heather to set the standard very high.
Heather – I want to set an example to my little men, as to what they should value in a wife. I want them to look at me, and not say, “I don’t want anyone like my mom was to my dad.” I want to show them what a virtuous woman is. I need to set an example in how I treat their father.
I want my daughter to learn how to be an incredible wife and mother. I want her to learn how to submit to her husband. She needs to know how to submit, but have enough confidence in herself to pick a man that will not use her as a doormat. I want her to find a man that will uphold her and lead her closer to Christ.
I want my marriage to be one that makes my children excited to find their spouse. I want them to know that you truly can be married to your best friend, and they should settle for nothing less than that.
The legacies that we leave behind for our children start with the actions that we do today. We want our children to grow up and find God’s perfect spouse for them. We want them to go into their marriages with high expectations set by the marriage that we have today. If our marriage is dysfunctional, or if we treat each other poorly, then we are setting the stage for our children to have the same kind of marriage.
So, what is the legacy of your marriage? Do you want your children to one day have what you have today? If not, start working today to change that.