Today we are launching our new series called Marriage Mondays. Each week will be focusing on an aspect of marriage on the blog. Our prayer is that launching this will allow this blog to encourage and reach out to married couples.
Over the last year the desire to reach out to other married couples has been very strong on both our hearts. We have witnessed couple after couple struggle through tough times, with some not making it through them. Couples that I just knew would grow old together are no longer married. In fact, I would go so far to say that divorce has become an epidemic that is crippling families across this nation.
As with so many things in life, the success of our marriages comes down to the choices that we make in life. This applies especially applies to the issue of love. We as Americans too easily incorrectly define love. Love is not an emotion. Love is not lust. Love is not something that we fall in and out of at the drop of a hat. Love is more than my fascination for ice cream or chocolate. Love is a choice.
I choose to love my wife. I realize that my wife is not a perfect person and has on occasion absolutely ticked me off. There are times when I get hurt, frustrated or upset with her. Life gets busy, work and obligations may overtake our time and the ‘passion’ in the marriage may dip. This does not ever change the LOVE that I have for my wife.
I love my wife, fully knowing her faults. I realize that the amazing person I married is so much more than her imperfections and I choose to love her in spite of them. Every marriage will have its seasons where things seem like they cannot go wrong and then experience a season of struggles when you wish just one thing would go right.
Now, I realize that in life there are always exceptions. There are situations of abuse and infidelity in which a spouse must make an incredibly tough choice of protecting themselves and their children. I am talking about the marriages that fail every day due to hurt feelings, lack of communication, resentment, neglect and the many other issues that if go untreated can lead to divorce.
As a husband I have to love with an unconditional love that looks at the long haul and not what I am experiencing in whatever season I am going through. I look to the love that God showed humanity.
“But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. ~ Ephesians 2:4-5
We need to reacquaint ourselves with the concept of unconditional love. This is the love that God has for us, loving us beyond our sins. We need to afford our spouses the same grace and mercy that we pray and believe God shows us.
I encourage you to make the choice of love in your marriage. Love your spouse because of the so many things they do well, and not focus on the things they do badly. Each and every day together, make the choice of love.
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My husband and I have been married for almost 9 years now. It is so much about your attitude and not so much about being “in love” but choosing to love.