It’s around 10:00 am and you are just relaxing drinking your cup of coffee. The week is about over and you are taking an easy approach to the day. Then you decide to check your phone. There is a missed call from your friend wanting to know if the play date is still on.
You forgot! You take a quick evaluation of your house and realize that it is a complete mess. Kids are running around in pj’s and you are sitting in yoga pants and a t-shirt. In that moment you have a choice. You can either choose to stress yourself out and pretend to be the perfect housewife who has it all together. Or you can be real.
A few months ago I would have ran through my house like a crazy lady throwing stuff in closets, cleaning at a rate of speed that would make your head spin. I am pretty certain children would have been yelled at to get in line and help get the mess picked up. They would have been stressed, I would have been stressed, and no one would be in a good mood. Then we would all suck it up, put on our perfect little faces to pretend that everything is fine.
Today as the above scenerio of forgetting a play date unfolded, I sat in my chair with my coffee and honestly thought, “I don’t feel like being perfect today!” I don’t want to run around here cleaning like mad and pretending we are a perfect little family. We are real people. There are 6 of us in our house, and my house isn’t perfect. We have pj days and you know what? It is OK.
Here is what I said instead. I forgot today was the day…my house is a mess and I have nothing to fix for lunch. In response I got, “I have kids and understand messes in the house. Want me to bring you some lunch?”
So on this day instead of all the chaos. I told my kids we were having a play day. We straightened up the best we could, got dressed, and got ready to play. Real friends understand. They don’t expect us to be perfect. So many times we add all the stress to ourselves, when in reality we need to just be real.
“Be Who You Are and Say What You Feel Because Those Who Mind Don’t Matter and Those Who Matter Don’t Mind.”~ Dr. Suess
This quote is one of my very favorites. Can I tell you how much more relaxed the day has gone? It is a night and day difference. I don’t want my kids to resent company coming over because I turn in to the ogre mommy right before they get here. I want it to be a time of fun and great memories. The quote is true, those that matter really don’t mind. A real friend is coming to spend time with you. They aren’t coming to evaluate if you are a good housekeeper and mom. So relax, do the best you can do, and don’t worry about the rest.
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So very true!! I have a good friend that we intentionally don’t pick up before the other comes over.. just so we can be real and say this is where we are at today! I need to do this more with other friends.. and remember that it doesn’t have to be perfect and just to do our best!
Isn’t it awesome to have friends like that? They love us for who we are, and not what our house looks like
We have pj days!
They are my fav!
LOVE this post, Heather. It seems quite a few of us bloggers are losing the “I’m trying to be perfect” mindset. Transparency and authenticity are the key! Blessings to you, sweet friend!
It is a great mindset to be in. So freeing and less stressful! Blessings
Love your attitude! I am in my yoga pants as I write this on Saturday afternoon!
Thanks! I am too. A nice relaxing day of not being perfect
Oh yes… I love this! The boldness to be real… to be messy… to let go of Perfect and pretense and allow Truth to shine through! I purposed in my heart years ago – when my little one was still little – to try to live this way! I remembered how chaotic it was to have company over as a kid myself – and while I love to have things in their place – realistically they don’t always live there and I want my home to be an open door and a welcoming landing place… whether the shoes are in a pile or in a row!
Hi Heather
Good for you!! I was forced into this attitude by a chronic illness, for I am limited to how much I can do on any given day!! But, let me assure you, my husband and I are spending so much more time together enjoying one another that I don’t complain one bit. Your friend seems like a darling! Over via Barbie’s.
Much love
Mia
I love it, Heather. I found you via MyFreshlyBrewed Life. We should almost give homeschooling moms passes for this. As long as you don’t do it all the time, it’s more than OK!